JustBeingMNS

Recently I might have been more sensitive about everything. But my "supposedly"  best friend said,"I don't want you to have a higher score than me" when we are doing negotiation for the class. I personally didn't want a higher score than her. All I asked was to get the score as low as her so that I am not the only person with the lowest score. Call me crazy but she has been taking out on me for some reason. She demanded that I had a lower score than her by asking why she should deserve the lowest score. That's when it snapped me. Then, do I deserve the lowest score? I beleive I wouldn't think so if I still had the right mind. I have been tolerating her behaviors because she is my close friend. But seriously, I admit that not many people can tolerate me and I cannot tolerate many people either. So, if you want to end the friendship with me, just go ahead and tell me straight. Please do not make me waste my emotions on you. I might confront you some

          Everyone changes including myself. Then, why do I expect the relationships between these gradually-changing people to stay the same? I know I am just too foolish to have this kind of naïve thought.           As we grow older, we expand our social networks. We expand our vocabulary list and adapt other different languages. When I talk to my friends, I realize that we no longer share the same language anymore.           The language that we used to share in the past also gradually faded. The conversations between us are not as lively as before. No matter what, I strongly believe that I will find the language that we can share together again. As long as I assume that our friendship is valuable, I will never let go of it. I also hope that you do not either. Don't blame me for this innocent wish. --- MNS