JustBeingMNS

Not until yesterday did I realize that the friendship is already a sunk cost to me. Dude, you don't have the right to talk to me that way. I was so mad but I tried to cool off, telling myself that I was probably making a big deal out of the conversation. I am bothered by it the whole day to that point that I am angry at myself. Anyway, as of now, I have decided that I am going to be a little bit more mature, let it go, and move on with my life.

She rarely remembers that person... BUT... She calls that person... WHEN... ... she is bored in class ... she has something on her mind ... she has a crush on someone ... she has nothing else to do AND She disappears... RIGHT AFTER... That person serves the purpose... What EXACTLY is that person for her? A Friend of Convenience?!

I haven't posted for a long time. It is not like anyone is reading but still, it is great to get things off your mind. These days, I have been unsatisfied with myself. Nothing is going my way. The emotional distance is getting bigger. I don't feel close to anyone. But I don't want to shut anyone out. I am just missing those things that I took for granted. It's time I learned to appreicate who used to be around me. Yeah... I just need to be more comfortable and more confident. Yeah... I can do it.

Relationships... Marriages... Love is in the air! Yes, weddings are always wonderful. Couples look lovely. They utter words of commitment in front of a huge crowd. But seriously?! Isn't marriage a huge commitment?! How sure can you be with whom to marry?! Are you not scared of the aftermath?!

ဟ.. ေရာက္လာျပန္ၿပီ ေနာက္တစ္ႏွစ္ ခ်စ္သူမ်ားေန႔... ငါ့အတြက္ေတာ့ ခ်စ္သူမ်ားေန႔က ေပ်ာ္စရာေကာင္းေသာေန႔ တစ္ခါမွ မျဖစ္ဖူးေသးဘူး... ဒါေပမယ့္ ကုုိယ့္ဟာကိုယ္ေတာ့ ႏွစ္တိုင္းႏွစ္သိမ့္ပါတယ္... ေနာက္ႏွစ္ေတာ့ေပါ့ဆိုၿပီ... ဟားဟား... ဒီႏွစ္ေတာ့ လံုး၀ပဲ... အျဖစ္မွန္ကိုု အျဖစ္မွန္အတုုိင္းပဲ လက္ခံလုိက္ပါေတာ့မယ္... ေအးဟုတ္တယ္... တစ္ေယာက္ထဲပဲ... ဘယ္ေတာ့မွလဲ စြန္မွာမဟုတ္ဘူး... ငါ့ကိုု သည္းခံႏိုင္တဲ့သူေတြ႔မွပဲ ခ်စ္သူမ်ားေန႔အေၾကာင္း စဥ္းစားေတာ့မယ္... အခုေတာ့ ဒီမွ်နဲ႔ ဒီဘ၀ပဲေပါ့... အမွ်... အမွ်... အမွ်... -- MNS

Recently I might have been more sensitive about everything. But my "supposedly"  best friend said,"I don't want you to have a higher score than me" when we are doing negotiation for the class. I personally didn't want a higher score than her. All I asked was to get the score as low as her so that I am not the only person with the lowest score. Call me crazy but she has been taking out on me for some reason. She demanded that I had a lower score than her by asking why she should deserve the lowest score. That's when it snapped me. Then, do I deserve the lowest score? I beleive I wouldn't think so if I still had the right mind. I have been tolerating her behaviors because she is my close friend. But seriously, I admit that not many people can tolerate me and I cannot tolerate many people either. So, if you want to end the friendship with me, just go ahead and tell me straight. Please do not make me waste my emotions on you. I might confront you some ...