What do I lack?

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How come my intentions go wrong that easily? I am a pessimist but I always try to hope for the best. I intend to bring a harmonious result but in the end, I am the one who end up bringing a worse atmosphere to everyone.

Last Saturday, I decided to have a Google Hangout with my old friends. The intention is simple: to bring old friends together and chill like old times.

With that great intention, I ditched the other hangout with another group of friends. In fact, one of my friends was having his birthday party. I was with that group for the whole day at the lake. As I was playing PITS at that guy's home around 11 PM, I told the group that I was tired and that I wanted to go back to my dorm. He told me that I should stay because it was his birthday. I guess I pissed him off because I told him bluntly that I wanted to go back to my dorm no matter what. He didn't say much but he dropped me off at my dorm.

There, I tried to gather my friends. The group chat went pretty "okay" until I made a wrong cue. I jokingly told one of my friends to tell the other friend what we had been talking about. I meant nothing but my friend took it wrong and told the other guy what he had been keeping in his mind.

The words really hurt the other guy. If I were that guy, I would feel the same way too. If a friend, that I consider my best friend, said something like he didn't actually think me as his close friend especially in front of other people, I would be so upset and hurt. He would not only let my expectations down but also defamed me in front of others. How would I be able to treat that kind of friend the same way in the future? Anyway, I am not in the position to make any of such judgement.

Who would have ever thought that my good intentions would have such bad results?
I made one friend get pissed.
I made one friend sound like an A-hole.
I made one friend get hurt.
I made other friends get awkward.

What do I lack that my intention led to this disastrous result? Maybe it is really the best when I do nothing at all.

--
MNS

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