To go or not to go, that's the problem.

I am already a sophomore, who almost has nothing on her resume. I am now a Senator in the student government. I was an IOL (international orientation leader) this year; I am applying again for the next year, of course. I might have some leadership on my resume; however, I did not have any work experience, expect the work study I have right now.

Last summer, I decided to take a summer off. I just wanted to take a break from studies for a summer. And I DID! My summer was completely wasted. I was just doing whatever I wanted. There is nothing that I can show off until now.

This year, I have this fascinating opportunity to do an internship abroad in Shanghai, China. I am majoring in Business and minoring in Chinese. This internship is just so perfect for me. I will be able to have a hand-on job experience and improve my Chinese level at the same time. If I go to China this semester, even my future plan can be perfect.

However, there are two big concerns I have.

One: Will I be really able to communicate in Chinese? What's worse, communicate in Chinese every single second for two months? Actually, I am a little bit afraid of going through this all alone. Then, I tried recalling how I got to the States. Actually, I can do this! It might be hard but I can overcome it as long as I show a little bit more self-confidence and courage. Well, first concern solved!~

Second: Will I be able to afford this internship financially? Of course, I need to pay some out of my pocket for flight tickets, apartment rental, and so on. The list never ends. Right now, I am not financially dependent. When I talked about that to my father, my father is really supportive. He told me that as long as I wanted to go, he would make sure that I would be able to go. It's really nice to have such a supportive father. However, I asked myself if I was being too selfish. I don't want to burden my parents financially. They have been struggling a lot to pay for my tuition fees in the states. Is it fair for them if I decided to go there and spend more money?

The second question has been bothering me a lot. I have been thinking and re-thinking about the same question again and again. Still, my supportive father told me to give it a try.

Tomorrow, I have an appointment with the ELC (Experiential Learning Center). I will try to gather more information about the internship and its cost. Only when I got the complete information, I can make a final decision.

I hope luck is on my side. I really want to go and I hope everything turns out well. (: